Texas Legislature Says, 'Keep Poor Kids In Their Place'

KEEP THEM IN THEIR PLACE.

BY MATTHEW LUCAS BECKETT

In the basement of The Texas State Capital, the Republican Legislators met in a closed door, emergency session.
“How could there have been more than eleven thousand people rallying to stop school closings?” asked one. “Our plans depend on this.”
“Yes,” said another. “And more importantly, how do we counter this apparent movement against the core of our agenda? This is much bigger and much more important than simply saving money now for the short term well being of the state, as important as that is.”
“Yes,” said The Speaker of The Texas House. “The whole future depends on this. We need large class sizes, overworked teachers and administrators in the public schools to ensure our economic future. The children that come from families that mean they really deserve a quality education can afford private schools.”
“Agreed,” said The Majority Leader. “We don't want the children of middle and certainly lower class families to start getting upity ideas in their heads. How will we keep them where they belong, underfoot, if they get too well educated. I mean, they should know their place in society, but if a high quality education fills their inferior heads with too many 'Liberal' ideas about equality and social advancement, we'll lose our seudo servants. So, what do we do about these rallies?”
“Putting out information suggesting they have a socialist agenda has had some effect, so we should keep that up,” said a newly elected member.
“And counter rallies are also good to keep up,” said a young page.
“Yes, but we must do more to ensure victory,” said The Speaker.
“We could send notices to our richest contributors, reminding them that a well educated underclass will be bad for their lifestyles and urging them to act against this movement,,” said an older legislative aid.
“And we can call on our allies in Washington to do what they can at the national level to defund education and make it easier for us to do so,” said another young page.
“Did you just say the word 'defund'” said The Majority Leader of The Texas Senate as all eyes turned on the the young man and he took several steps back at what was in those eyes.
“We NEVER use that word aloud,” said another high ranking Texas State Senator. “There could be people listening. Do you know what a word like that getting out there as having come from this group could do?”
“Sss...sss....sorry,” stammered the terrified young man. “It www...www...won't happen again.”
“See that it does not,” said The Speaker. There was no need to say 'or else' for his tone left no doubt of the threat.
“We could also start some rumors among our constituents about well educated underclass people already beginning to get foolish ideas about equality and upward social mobility,,” suggested another member of The Texas House.
“And some of those would have some fact to them,” added a State Senator.
“Yes,” said The Majority Whip for The Texas House. “I have heard of several cases of that of late, and we must put a stop to it before it gets out of hand.”
“Yes,” said The Speaker. “We don't want our rich friends' lifestyles disrupted, so let's get on all of this and more. After all, we can't have poor and middle class kids getting the same quality education as rich kids if we are to keep the former in their proper place.”
“Yes,” said The State Senate Majority Leader. “And we absolutely must keep them in their place.”
“Here, here,” said everyone else, raising air cups of chamaign and then drinking deeply from the imaginary cups.